Grease is the word

CAPTAIN'S LOG


9:00AM Alarm went off; felt discombobulated as it was my day off. Remembered my mission and immediately leaped out of bed and performed my morning ablutions.

9:15AM Hopped into my car and drove to Carl's Jr, where I placed my order at the drive-through: one Breakfast Burger and one medium Coke. Contemplated getting the combo; decided against it as gluttony is a deadly sin.

9:30AM Returned home and removed the item from the bag.

Removed the top half of the bun to perform a thorough inspection of the item to ensure none of the Devil's Vegetable [onions] were present. Found only a hamburger patty, hash brown nuggets, a fried egg, cheese, bacon, and ketchup. Thus assured, I began consumption of the item, which proved difficult as I am unable to unhinge my jaw like an egg-eating snake.

Verdict: Definitely delicious. Hash brown nuggets a tad rubbery, and fried egg (like all eggs) had distinct farty smell, but bacon was perfectly prepared, hamburger patty was delectably charbroiled, and cheese formed a luscious protective barrier over all. Immensely pleased by high salt factor.

9:35AM Finding it difficult to finish item. Stomach is protesting against sudden onslaught of fat. I fear tha