Monday, February 06, 2006


Even though his beloved Giants didn’t make it to the Super Bowl, G still wanted to watch it, and he had a proposition for me: “Pick the team you think will win, and if they do, you get to eat some horrible confection on my dime.”

I thought about it for a second, and then I said, “Okay, I think the Steelers will win, and for my horrible confection, I want a Luther.”

For those of you not familiar with the eating habits of the late Luther Vandross, or who haven’t seen the “Itis” episode of “The Boondocks”, here are the ingredients for a Luther:

  • 1 pound of beef
  • Grilled onions
  • Cheese
  • Five bacon strips
  • Two Krispy Kreme donuts

Yes, my friends, the Luther is basically an enormous bacon cheeseburger sandwiched between two Krispy Kremes instead of a bun.

G’s eyes went animenormous. “You. Have. Got. To. Be. Shitting. Me.”

“Oh, no, I’m dead serious,” I said cheerfully. “Of course, I don’t want it to be a whole pound of meat, and obviously I don’t want the onions, but what I’m thinking is that we could get a bacon cheeseburger at Carl’s Jr. or Wendy’s or something, and then toss the bun in favor of the donuts.”

G tried to talk me out of it, but I would not be moved.

And the Steelers won!

So next weekend, I’ll be chowing down on a modified Luther. It’s either going to be the most horrific thing I’ve ever put in my mouth, or it will be sublime.

I can’t wait.

DISCLAIMER FOR ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH AND/OR SANITY: Even if the Luther is the most incredible thing I’ve ever eaten, this is a one-time only thing. Not even my eating habits are atrocious enough to justify something like this on a regular basis!