Monday, November 16, 2015

my 30 favorite movie quotes of 2015

(NOTE: not all of these movies were first released in 2015, but that's when I saw 'em!  Also, I tried my best to avoid any spoiler quotes, and these aren't in any particular order.)

1. "Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine."  (The Imitation Game)

2. "Looks like somebody used a landmine to clear their sinuses."  (Kite)

3. "Once I got fingered by Boz Scaggs."  (Tammy)

4. "I love kids.  Except the fat ones.  Fuck those little turds, right?"  (The Skeleton Twins)

5. "The primal questions of a marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other? What will we do?"  (Gone Girl)

6. "Dear God, is that a tear in your eye? Are you one of those single-tear people? Do I look like a double fucking rainbow to you?"  (Whiplash)

7. "I'm so very tired, Mr. Tusk, battered by a life of cruel fate and poor decisions and the terrible consequences of both."  (Tusk)

8. "You know the difference between Americans and Canadians? Canadians don't get sad. We're red and white but never blue."   (Tusk)

9.  "You don't want the gun?  What kind of American ARE you?!"  (Tusk)

10. "He's not the boogeyman!  He's the one you send to KILL the fucking boogeyman!"  (John Wick)

11. "[Cosmology] is religion for intelligent atheists."  (The Theory of Everything)

12. "There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job'."  (Whiplash)

13. "Amish got more flavor than you."  (A Walk Among the Tombstones)

14. "I like to think if you're seeing me, you're having the worst day of your life."  (Nightcrawler)

15. "What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them? What if I was the kind of person who was obliged to hurt you for this? I mean physically. I think you'd have to believe afterward, if you could, that agreeing to participate and then backing out at the critical moment was a mistake. Because that's what I'm telling you, as clearly as I can."  (Nightcrawler)

16. [Baymax the robot, while petting a cat]  "Hairy baby!"  (Big Hero 6)

17. "Next German you see with a weapon, you rake the dog shit out of him. I don't care if it's a baby with a butter knife in one hand and his momma's left titty in the other."  (Fury)

18. "You know what hell is?  A world without narcotics."  (Maps to the Stars)

19. "Why don't you just eat your breakfast instead of blogging about it?"  (Insidious 3)

20. "Espresso?  Is that like reefer?"  (Big Eyes)

21. "Hi, I'm Jade. Welcome to Chick Planet Massage! Please take a look at today's Pussy Eater's special which is good all day until closing time."  (Inherent Vice)

22. "This morning I woke up and there was a pubic hair on my pillow shaped like a question mark. And it really got me thinking of unanswered questions, like all the times in my life when I was supposed to feel something but I felt nothing and all the other times in my life where I wasn't supposed to feel anything but I felt too much and the people around me weren't really ready for all of my feelings."  (Welcome to Me)

23. "It's very bad for a girl to be too pretty.  It stops her developing a sense of humor...or a personality."  (About Time)

24. "It's like their apartment is full of everything we once threw out, but it looks so good the way they have it."  (While We're Young)

25. "I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon."  (Kingsman: The Secret Service)

26. "Take her to the moon for me, Joy."  (Inside Out)

27. "There are no bears in San Francisco!"  (Inside Out)

28. "They look like the entire cast of The Goonies grew up and became rapists."  (The Wedding Ringer)

29. "By the way, I can see your gun, unless you're so extreme that you have a second dick coming out of your hip!"  (Spy)

30. "God, you guys eat like rescue dogs."  (Adult Beginners)