the ones that got away

When I was in Japan, my fellow participants and I snapped pictures of just about everything we could: locals, signs, toilets, shrubs, temples, drunks, you name it. I'm pretty sure more than one local thought to themselves, "Shit, and they think we're bad?"

Anyway, despite taking over 200 pictures, I did not manage to get a good shot of the drunk guy in the swan tutu, the uproariously raunchy Phil, or the butt hive I referred to here as Dawn Weiner. Fortunately, when you've got thirtysome unabashed geeks on a tour, SOMEONE is bound to get that shot you wanted...and post it online.

(DISCLAIMER: I did not take any of these pictures and claim no rights to any of them whatsoever. I uploaded them to my own server because Bandwidth Theft Is Bad, Mmmmkay. Void where prohibited by law. Due to rampant fraud and Internet sales, Subway will no longer provide Sub Club cards or stamps, but will honor full cards.)





The best thing about this shot of us is the Japanese mother protectively clutching her child to her bosom as the herd of gaijin cheerfully march by. "Watch out for the crackers, honey!"





At Kiyomizu-dera, there was a Buddhist iron staff that weighed over 150 pounds, and of course it was Phil who managed to lift it more than a few feet off the ground, to the delight of all assembled. Seriously, this dude was insane.





Isaac strikes a pose in Osaka.





Here, the close proximity of Dawn Weiner, combined with a singing voice that made a cat getting its balls cut off with a rusty razor sound like Andrea Bocelli, causes a tour participant's eyes to glow red with rage and pain.





This is Ben, who was also really funny.





Can you imagine a tourist going up to a schoolgirl in America and asking to take a picture with her? He'd be arrested!





I am the Blue Power Ranger! I am really fucking drunk!





THERE ARE NO WORDS.





Hori was no Ken, but still damn cute. Iiiiya~n...