a girl's not a tonic or a pill

So yesterday, when I heard about the terrorist bombings in London, my first reaction was “Oh man, that’s so horrible.”

Second reaction: “Holy shit, Dad’s supposed to be in London this week!”

I immediately called his office and was greatly relieved when he answered. “I thought you were in London,” I said.

“No, we don’t leave until Saturday.”

“Oh thank god.”

“Thank god? Why?”

Turns out he hadn’t even heard yet, since he’d been in the office since 5:30AM and, unlike me some people, he actually does work when he’s at work. Imagine!

Anyway, although that was good news, he had some bad news too. Remember S, the independently wealthy widow he was dating and felt a real connection with? She’s flown the coop. He forwarded me her Sayonara Sugar e-mail:

Hi [Daddy-O], sorry for being so poky in getting back to you. It has been crazy with lots of company and work. It doesn’t look like it is going to get much better in July and August is filling up fast. I’ve been thinking about our relationship and I don’t think it is quite fair to give you much hope about getting to know me better as my life is so busy right now. Also, I don’t think I am ready to pursue a long-term relationship. Our dinners were fun and I just want to remember them like that. I’m sorry if this hurts you, but I must be honest. I’m sure you will not have a difficult time finding a wonderful woman that shares your interests and sincerity. I need more time before I can go there. Maybe it is just this time of year that is so difficult as [her late husband] died July 14th. That last week was horrible for both of us. I know you do understand that. Thanks for being a dear…

“What do you make of that?” he asked when I finished reading. “I mean, we really clicked from the second we met, and I was sure she felt the same way, so this really came as a surprise.”

“My first instinct is to say that she’s feeling guilty about dating again. You said you’re the first person she’s seriously dated since he died, right? Since the anniversary is coming up, I’m sure he’s really on her mind, and maybe that’s what made her take a powder. Plus, and I know this sounds really Harlequiny, maybe she was afraid that she was feeling too much for you too soon.”

“That sounds like a reasonable guess,” Daddy-O said. He paused, and then he said, “Hey, you know some really astute people. Can you see if any of them have any insight?”

Done, dearest Daddy-O! I'll ask around and see what people think.

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Fun quotes from last weekend, taken completely out of context and with no explanation whatsoever because that makes it funnier:

"Oh yeah, baby, scold that dog...scold him. Yeah, he's been naughty. Oh yeah. Scold him."

"You Commie bastard. What do you have against fireworks? You sleep with Bolsheviks. Pinko."

"I'm going to put two miniature Twix in the corners of my mouth! I'm a chocolatey walrus! Arf, arf, arf!"

"What the frell is Azoth?"

"She wouldn't eat a salad unless you were threatening to harm something or someone she holds dear."

"Eat the damn cherry. I promise your body won't reject it like a bad kidney."