Thursday, February 09, 2006

A: I'm going here in a couple of hours.

Q: Where is Culver City for the Jeopardy auditions?

That's right, you get a case of Turtle Wax!

Holy shit, y'all. I wasn't nervous until I woke up during the night, and then I pretty much wigged. I managed to get back to sleep, but I had a horrible dream in which I was the victim of a big con game, and after discovering the deception, I killed four people (one of whom was Meg Ryan, although I'm not sure if she was supposed to be herself or was just playing my tormentor) with a golf club.


Anyway, so I filled out my form with five anecdotes ranging from standard ho-hum shit (my alma mater and degree) to mildly interesting (countries I've visited) to flat-out bizarre (my love of martial arts movies---if I get on the actual show, I WILL find a way to say "Tony Jaa" or, even better, "Sammo Hung" on TV---and the fact that I once ate earwax-flavored jelly beans on a dare). I'm going with the Potentially Naughty Librarian outfit (black blouse and pinstripe skirt with high-heeled mary janes). I've crapped my guts out.

So here goes. I'm logging out ("Uh huh huh, didn't you say you already did that?") and heading upstairs to get ready. I have a few errands to run, and then I'm hitting the road. That 405 is a beeyotch, and I want to make sure I get there in plenty of time. Fortunately, there's a restaurant in the hotel and a large mall nearby, so I can kill a couple of hours after the audition too, seeing as I'll be done right around rush hour, and I absolutely will not drive on the 405 during rush hour, nosirreebob.

Please wish me luck!