just an ordinary day...in BIZARROLAND

Today is the final day of my four-day weekend. I'm trying not to stress out too much about the ungodly workload that no doubt awaits me tomorrow, but it's rather difficult. I fear liberal application of chocolate and hydrotherapy in the form of a hot bubble bath may be in order.

Anyway! My weekend has, for the most part, been quite pleasant. Daddy-O, his fiancee GR, and my brother R were in California to celebrate Daddy-O's 60th birthday. Daddy-O and GR did the wine country thing on Friday, so I had R all to myself. We managed to pack the day full of fun: the beach, a drive down the PCH, a jaunt to the neighborhood in which we grew up, and a stop at Chocolatine for nummies (a lemon sugar crepe for me; oh, the humanity!).

On Saturday, R, my boyfriend G, and I headed to Santa Barbara to meet up with Daddy-O and GR. We had drinks, took a walk to the pier (and boy, my pirate shoes just weren't made for walkin'...), and enjoyed a lavish spread at the Sage & Onion. I had filet with a molasses reduction, and G and I shared warm chocolate cake with pistachio rocky road ice cream in a sugar tuile. My groaning gut! (Literally, as it turns out; I don't know if there was something wonky with the food or if I just ate too much rich food in too short a time, but more than one member of our party suffered gastrointestinal distress! Man, if I keep getting the shits/barfies like I have been the past couple weeks, I'll fit into a two-piece by summer!)

Then, on Sunday, it was time for my family to head home. I saw them off with hugs (but no tears for a change, since I'll be seeing them all in less than two weeks when I fly back to MN for Daddy-O's surgery), and then I grabbed my gear and headed over to G's. He was in a fine mood, thanks to the Giants' victory, and we celebrated with pizza and a movie (Lady Vengeance, to be exact).

Ah, but you were wondering about my title, yes?

I had today off as well thanks to AWA (alternate work arrangement; i.e. every other week, I work four 10-hour days and get Monday off). I didn't have anything planned, so I went over to the local mall to assist the economy. I bought some heavily discounted Harajuku Lovers accessories in Urban Outfitters, and then I made a beeline for Sephora.

(beep beep beep)

Damn cell phone and its low battery alarm!

I sat down on a bench across from the movie theater to turn off my cell. My attention was soon diverted by an angry woman screaming at the ticket seller. I couldn't make out what she was saying, at least until she whirled around and yelled, "Everyone, listen up! This theater sells tickets to R-rated movies to little kids!"

"God, Mom, chill," the 14-year-old (I'm guessing) boy next to her whined as she stalked past me.

I can only assume her attention was drawn to me by the rapid movement of my head as I looked down, pretending that I wasn't watching her tirade. She turned around and barked, "Here you go, miss, have a free ticket since that fucking theater won't refund our goddamn money!" She thrust a ticket at me and I took it from her, not daring to speak.

Dude, it was for Jackass 2...which was starting in two minutes!

Suh.

WEET.

See, I have this shameful thing for Jackass. I loved the TV show, and I loved the first movie. The only reason I hadn't seen this one yet is that I figured the DVD would have a ton of deleted scenes, plus I knew there was a scene where Steve-O attaches a leech to his eyeball, and I wanted to skip right past that bad boy.

I didn't even watch the leech scene---as soon as the words "Leech Healer" showed up on the bottom of the screen, I took the opportunity to take a much-needed bathroom break---but I am seriously traumatized.

Frealz.

Anyone know where I can buy eyeball bleach?