welcum to the neighborhood!

About a week after K and I moved into the Merry Mansion, someone took a dump on our doorstep.

I must attract bizarre housewarming gifts, because when I went over to my new place the other night, there was a Mexican porn magazine in my parking spot. I didn't look inside, of course, but the cover model---a busty Latina in a black bra, thong, and stockings---and cover copy featuring the words culo and puta left no doubt as to the steamy contents within.

Whatever happened to blenders and silverware, for God's sake?