holy shit y'all!

I have a coupon for a WHOLE PAID HOUR OFF WORK! Whatever shall I DO with this largesse? Should I:

• Read 50 pages of a book?
  
• Take a nap?
  
• Eat a carton of Ben & Jerry’s Cheesecake Brownie and spend the other 55 minutes feeling sick?
  
• Scour Monster.com?
  

Oh, I bet you’re wondering how I even came to be in possession of such a cherished document: Administrative Professionals Day, of course!

Yes, on Wednesday, all the peons had to sit in the breakroom, listen to a speech, and then eat breakfast while management watched us eat. It was like how they used to let the peasants watch the royals eat at Versailles, only in reverse. We also received a pin in the shape of a jigsaw puzzle piece, attached to a card that said:

Isn’t it a wonderful thing that we’re all different? Each of us has strengths and skills to share. And when we link our individual strengths together, we’re invincible. Can’t imagine us without you!

Ironically, everybody’s pin was exactly the same.

Discuss.

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Oh, people, I’m feeling so tired and stabby. This week has sucked every drop of sunshine and happy from the marrow of my bones. My brother had to go to the ER with chest pain. My dad and G are going through a rocky, potentially relationship killing patch. And, in addition to that, my dad is having cataract surgery.

Can this year PLEASE stop sucking? Please? I don’t expect Ed McMahon to ride up to my apartment carrying a huge cardboard check or anything like that (although that would be lovely), but at the very least, can people I love please stop getting sick and hurt and operated on? Can mean people leave me alone? Can this FUCKING PHONE STOP RINGING?

Argh…must not leave this entry on a bad note…so here are some good things!

I was browsing Anthropologie’s webpage, and they had a gorgeous Anna Sui dress on sale for $88, which was about $200 less than the original price. Not only that, but my size was the only one they had left! I snapped it up, and when it arrived, I immediately tried it on. It fit so perfectly you’d think it was made especially for me. I look fucking fabulous in it. It makes me want to sit at a sidewalk café by the beach and drink mimosas.

John Connolly has a new book coming out next month, and Louis and Angel are the main focus. Plus JC will probably be coming to my nabe to promote it, so of course I have to go see him.

I just heard about a restaurant in LA that serves pancake lasagna. Quoth the website: "A maple-bechamel sauce holds together each layer—it goes pancake, sausage, scrambled egg, cheddar, pancake, maple-glazed black pepper bacon, egg, cheddar." Yes plz.

Silent Hill 5 is coming out in September!

And…um…this:





Oh, monkeys riding dogs…is there anything you can’t do?