Wednesday, March 09, 2011

AC/DC

Sorry to disappoint anybody who clicked on this entry hoping for torrid tales of hot bisexual action, but I called it AC/DC because it's a "currents" entry.

Get it? Currents? Get it?

::nudge nudge::

::cricket chirp::

You're no fun. GOSH.






CURRENT OUTFIT: Plain black t-shirt, jeans, black sneakers, my hideous ID badge. Seriously, I look like my dad in drag in my ID picture, and although he's a handsome man, he doesn't make for an attractive woman.

Speaking of my jeans, I am quite sad because they're starting to wear out in the seat, and I'm terrified that they're going to just flat out rip. I'm always obsessively checking my ass in the full-length mirror here at work to make sure they aren't starting to go.

Now, you may ask why I don't just buy another pair, and that's a valid question. But here's the bitch of it: I tried on the exact same brand in the exact same size and style, and they no longer fit nearly as well. They tampered with something---no idea what---and now they just look weird on me. The pair I'm wearing is the perfect fit and length and makes my ass look stunning. You can see why I'm loath to consign them to the smelly depths of my apartment's dumpster. I've tried on dozens of different brands and have yet to come close to anything as flattering.

CURRENT PERFUME: Bittersweet by Tokyomilk. Check out these notes: cake flour, dark cacao bean, osmanthus, and bronzed musk. It smells like really high-end chocolate cake batter.

CURRENT FOOD: 6" Subway sandwich on Italian with ham, mustard, and pickles, a bag of salt and vinegar chips, and a Coke Zero. My sodium needs are met for the day.

...okay, the week.

CURRENT BOOK: I'm between books right now because I just finished Blood, Bones & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton. Goddamn, was that good. If you love cooking memoirs, or just memoirs in general, you have to read it. There's a blurb on the front cover from Anthony Bourdain in which he claims it's the best memoir by a chef ever, so that was endorsement enough for me.

CURRENT VIDEO GAME: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors (usually just referred to as 999 for obvious reasons) for the Nintendo DS. It's about a group of people trapped on a sinking ship by a mysterious fiend called Zero, and they have to find clues and solve puzzles in order to survive. Think Professor Layton meets Saw on the Titanic.

CURRENT VIDEO GAME JONESING: There are a LOT of awesome games coming out this year. Rockstar's new game, LA Noire, has a Heavy Rain look to it that appeals to me for obvious reasons. Catherine, from the creators of Persona 4, looks like a total mindfuck. Dead Island's heartbreaking trailer made it a must-play in my book, even if I have to dose up on Dramamine to avoid spraying the flatscreen with vomit. Shadows of the Damned was created by Goichi Suda (No More Heroes) and Shinji Mikami (Resident Evil) and scored by Akira Yamaoka (Silent Hill), plus the main character is named Garcia Hotspur and has enemies in the forms of eyeball-eating babies and demonic pubic hair. Yeah, um, SO there. And speaking of Silent Hill, the new game (SH: Downpour) comes out this fall. Unfortunately, Akira Yamaoka won't be doing the music, but they got the composer from Dexter, so it's not like the music will be terrible. Even if it was, it's a Silent Hill game and I am physically and mentally incapable of resisting the dark pull of Silent Hill, nor will I even try.

CURRENT IRRITATIONS: Debbie the Temp is back after two glorious days off. I swear to Christ the woman is unable to remain silent for more than a minute. If she's not complaining, she's singing. If she's not singing, she's on the phone talking to one of her kids or verbally abusing (not even kidding) her elderly mother. And joy of joys, she recently changed her shift to the same one as me, which means I get to hear her allllllll day. I really hope they don't offer her a full-time position, because fuck.

I have an enormous floater in my eye. Not big enough to obstruct my vision or anything, but big enough to be distracting.

I belong to Booksfree, which is sort of like Netflix for paperback books, and I'm still waiting on four books that were sent on February 22nd. I know they're not going to be as quick as Netflix, since they send the books media mail, but come on! I'd cancel my membership, but now that my local Borders has closed down (goddammit), they're one of my only sources of manga.

CURRENT (SEMI-CHEAP) THRILL: There used to be a fabulous store near me that sold perfume, cosmetics, bath products, and assorted frivolities like gorgeous stationery and jewelry. They closed down the store, but maintain an online presence, and if you live nearby, you can go to their business office and pick up your online order. They're only about 1 1/2 miles away from work, so I went there on my lunch break to get the stuff I bought yesterday.

When I walked in, nobody was at the reception desk, so I sat down to wait. I could see the large, open warehouse from where I was sitting, and oh my god. Shelves and shelves of luxurious perfumes and candles! I desperately wanted to go back there and sample everything. I wanted to collar somebody and beg, "Hey, can I have a job application? Seriously, if you give me a good discount, a salary within 5 grand of my current one, and decent health insurance, I WILL START TOMORROW."

Anyway, I had to wait a while for somebody to finally notice me, but my annoyance was tempered when I saw how many samples she gave me: body oil, 4 vials of perfume, moisturizer, AND a 3 ounce bottle of Tokyo Milk bubble bath! Heaven!

Oh, and because I know at least one of you will be wondering, here's what I bought: the aforementioned Tokyomilk Bittersweet perfume, Chidoriya eye serum, Tokyomilk salted caramel lip elixir, and 10 salted butter caramel lollipops. My eyes are rolling back in my head.

CURRENT PROCRASTINATIONS: I need a haircut bad. I also need to make a gyno appointment, because it's been a while. Somebody nag me!