Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'm like Han Solo always playing with my wookie

I'm the root of all evil, babe, but you can call me cookie.

Anyway, I'm bored and need to kill some time here in the Farm O' Cubes, so here's a survey.

Last car ride: Slightly less than six hours ago, when I drove to work. My commute is a mere 3 1/2 miles, which is utterly marvelous, especially considering how asstacular SoCal traffic can be.

Last kiss: When I left G's on Monday morning.

Last good cry: It's been a while. The 14th anniversary of my mom's death is a week from today, so I'm sure I'll cry then.

Last movie seen: In the theater, Sucker Punch; on DVD, I Saw the Devil, a Korean movie about a detective playing cat and mouse with the serial killer who murdered his pregnant fiancee. It was excellent, but I had to take a breather about halfway through because it is guh-RIM.

Last cuss word uttered: On the way to work today, I was driving behind somebody who was going excruciatingly slow. My turn was coming up rapidly, so I didn't have time to pass them, and I wound up missing a green light. (They, of course, were able to merrily sail through it.) I do believe my words of choice were "Thanks, you stupid fucking asslicker."

Last beverage drank: Water. Even though the whole "8 glasses a day" rule has been debunked, I still try to drink at least 2 liters every day. I can definitely tell the difference in my energy level and complexion when I don't.

Last food consumed: A snack size bag of Annie's Bunny Graham Friends. Speaking of Annie's, holy shit, their cheesy ravioli is like CRACK. It's not that much different than your standard Chef Boyardee slop, but I delude myself into thinking it's health food because it costs $2.50 a can and it's totally organic.

Last phone call: My dentist's office called me a couple of hours ago to remind me about my appointment. Exciting!

Last TV show watched: G and I have started watching The Wire. We were just kind of eh on seeing it until bonafide freakin' genius Alan Moore proclaimed it the best TV show of all time. The first two episodes didn't really grab us, but by the end of episode three, we were much more interested.

Last time showered: At around 9PM last night. I almost always shower at night, because I like to sleep in as late as possible in the morning and I also like the feeling of sliding under the covers completely clean. Plus, come on, how dirty am I going to get while I sleep? I just wash my face and naughties in the morning and I'm good to go. Products used during said shower: Paul Mitchell shampoo and conditioner, Pacifica Indian Coconut Nectar body wash (smells like heaven), Philosophy face wash, generic CVS shaving cream, Daisy razor.

Last thing written: Not including this entry, an e-mail to my dad.

Last key used: My car key.

Last word spoken: “You”, as in “Yes, sir, I’ll transfer you.” If I had my druthers, I would have added, “but call the right department next time, fucknut.”

Last sleep: 12:45AM-8:15AM.

Last text: I took a picture of a package of cookies at Whole Foods and texted it to C because the brand was called "Brownie Babies". So sue me, dookie is funny. But for the most part, I don't text. My bare bones phone and stubby fingers are not conducive to such frippery.

Last book read: All the way through? That would be Life with Mr. Dangerous, a graphic novel by Paul Hornschemeier. It was so goddamn good. My current read is Don't Breathe A Word by Jennifer McMahon. I'm on page 264 out of 447.

Last weird encounter: Oh, this is a doozy. Last week, I was in Barnes & Noble, sitting on a bench by the cafe, which is raised about three feet above the rest of the store. There was a man sitting at a table above me, and he knocked his iced coffee over. It splattered down on the bench and got all over me. He said, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" and started to hand me a batch of napkins. I said, "Hey, accidents happen" and he grabbed the napkins back and said, "You don't have to be a bitch about it!" I was literally speechless. There was a table of teenagers next to him, and one of the boys said, "Dude, chill out!" Yes, a teenage boy (by the way, on the off chance that the kid in question is reading this: thank you!) actually chastised him, so you know the guy was being a cock. I just grabbed my purse and left without responding to him. I figure somebody who blows things that far out of proportion is not somebody I really want to deal with.

Last time hugged: Monday morning when I left G's.

Last chair sat in: The uncomfortable office chair in which my curvy butt is currently parked.

Last shirt worn: Currently I am sporting a V-necked shirt with stripes in alternating shades of blue. I'm also wearing jeans, the necessary undergarments, and Vanille Givree perfume.

Last time dancing: This morning, as I got ready for work, I made up a little para-para dance to "Judas" by Lady Gaga. I still haven't figured out what anime theme that reminds me of.

Last webpage visited: Aside from this one, Cute Overload.

Last video game played: All the way to completion: LA Noire. But right now I'm playing Deadly Premonition, which has terrible graphics, clunky controls, and a horrible combat system, but the story is quirky and creepy and it's crazier than a shithouse rat with Tupperware tits. I fucking love it!