Tuesday, October 04, 2011

reasons to be cheerful

1. This weekend, G, C, and I are going to Little Tokyo, where we will partake of curry, ogle scantily clad figurines, and purchase snack foods and magazines that come with tooth-meltingly cute freebies.

2. Look what's coming out next week!

"But C, didn't you already play Dead Rising 2 last year?" you ask.

Why yes, I did, and here's a cookie for you to eat while I school you. Dead Rising 2: Off the Record is a retelling of the events of DR2 as told from Frank West's perspective. Yes, it's a clever ploy for Capcom to milk $40 out of us, but I ain't even care because they're adding lots of stuff: new bosses, new areas, new weapon combos, and hopefully lots of new frilly outfits for Frank to try on and coo over. I may very well paste 'em.

3. This:

As much as I wish this was real, it's actually a wicked parody by Gallery of the Absurd. For some reason, Paris Hilton is immensely popular in Japan; Sanrio even released a limited edition Paris Hilton Hello Kitty doll. Japan, Y U no shun her?????

4. Finally, my main reason for even starting this entry in the first place: Twinkletwat, one of my absolute least favorite coworkers, resigned today! My animosity towards her began several years ago, when she dared to disturb me as I was trying to eat in the break room in order to ask me a work-related question. Bitch, do you not SEE the fucking sandwich in my hand? If I'm off the clock, you do not fucking bother me with work shit. It's not like I'm a doctor or nuclear safety inspector. I guarantee whatever question she had could wait 30 minutes.

But even I, a notorious grudge holder, probably would have let that go eventually if not for her continued dedication to pissing me off. She kept bringing in her yappy Chihuahua. When I was off sick, she was my designated backup and I returned to find that she hadn't touched a thing. She wore UGGS...non-ironically. When she laughed, she sounded EXACTLY like Barney Rubble. Her husband would call her on her work phone, and if she was away from her desk it would bounce to me, and as soon as I did my phone spiel he'd immediately hang up without a word, which is just breathtakingly rude. (And I know it was him because his name would come up on the caller ID.)

She's been off for a couple of weeks now, and today we were told that she had resigned effective immediately. The scuttlebutt is that she was given the choice to get fired or quit, and understandably she took the latter option. Allegedly, she'd been drinking on the job, which wasn't news to me because she ALWAYS smelled like either booze or mouthwash when I was near her; what was news to me was that she allegedly drove for the company vanpool while under the influence. If that's true, then I gotta say I wish my company had fired her outright, because that's just not cool, but a) I don't actually know whether that happened or not and b) not my call to make.

So long, Twinkletwat, and eat a bag of dicks! If you did absolutely nothing else for me in the 6 years we've been working together---and let's face it, you didn't---at least you made my day.