you left a bad taste in my mouth, my sour patch kid

Bored as all get out, so I yoinked a survey from the official JaSurMo blog. Now you can be bored too while reading this! I took a few out that I didn't want to answer or weren't applicable to me and/or my interests.

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It's Thursday at noon. Where are you usually? Work. I don't take my lunch break until 1:15 because I come in late, so I would ordinarily be sitting in my cube, merrily slaving away.

Which shampoo is in your bathroom right now? I have a couple of bottles because I'm just that boss. One is Pantene clarifying shampoo, and one is Ojon.

What are you listening to right now? "Sofi Needs A Ladder" by deadmau5, hence the entry title.

Do you watch MTV anymore? Only the new Beavis and Butt-Head episodes, which are surprisingly pretty good. Not sure why they kept the old animation for the scenes where they're critiquing music videos/reality shows, but whatever.

How do you feel about your hair? The bane of my fucking existence. I look at old pictures of myself and want to weep for not appreciating my hair the way it was back then. I mean, I'm glad to have hair at all, but I hate it.

What DVD is in your player right now? Final Destination 5. I haven't seen 2-4, so I sure hope I don't get too lost.

What side of the bed do you sleep on? Left.

Do you like roller coasters? I love them, but my tolerance has gone down somewhat since I became An Old. I can handle things like Space Mountain, but not anything that goes upside down or does anything "weird". Several years ago, when G and I took the lads to Six Flags, I went on the Superman rollercoaster and was nauseated for hours afterwards. Yay aging!

What are your plans for Friday? After spending 8.5 glorious hours at work, I will go straight to G's and proceed to squeeze him senseless. I managed to score 50/50 from Netflix, so we'll probably watch that and a couple of episodes of The Wire.

What is the dumbest thing you have ever done with your cell phone? I had a mild freakout while trying on clothes and texted, "Please tell me something nice about myself because I am flipping the fuck out right now." I thought I was texting my friend K, but I accidentally sent it to my friend C instead. At the time, C happened to be hanging out at G's---they've been best friends for over 30 years---and G called me because he was worried that something really bad had happened. And C texted back "Are you okay? And for the record, you're one of the best friends I've ever had." I thanked them for their concern and assured them that nothing was wrong, aside from assorted body issues, including but not limited to stubby, misdialing-prone fingers.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell? G to go somewhere else. (rim shot)

Where is your favorite place? By G's side.

...I can hear you and your dramatic gagging noises from here, you hater. You hater of LOVE!

If you refuse to accept the above answer on account of your hate, then Kyoto, Japan.

Do you sleep with a fan on? Yes, because I need the white noise. I can fall asleep without white noise if I absolutely have to, but it takes much longer.

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? All. The. Fucking. Time. Most often at work.

Are you currently planning a trip? Nope. Due to finances and lack of vacation time at work, the England trip will have to tide me over for a while!

What makes you feel like you are young again? Ice cream, video games, kittens, and certain songs from my youth. G and I were listening to the radio last weekend and "Only in My Dreams" came on and I wigged out.

"I love Debbie Gibson!" I cried.

G patted my arm. "You and her mother."

What's on your mind right now? Hair, hyuk hyuk hyuk.

...okay, fine. I'm actually wondering if I'll ever get used to a new system they're implementing here at work. I've completed about 10 hours of---ready for this?---a 40 HOUR training schedule. It's the most boring thing you can possibly imagine, and confusing as hell. I'm in the last wave of employees to learn it, and everybody who's already finished the training assures me that it is a horrible system that's about as user-friendly as a thistle-covered dildo. Can't wait!

Do you eat a lot of fast food? I try to keep it down to once or twice a week, but sometimes, a bitch just needs a burger.

How many people have you kissed in 2012? Only G.

Were you happy when you woke up today? Um, no. Being forced out of my warm cocoon of blankets into the chill air of my poorly insulated apartment, knowing that I had 8.5 hours of work ahead of me and that 2 of those hours would be devoted to training on that stupid new system, was the very opposite of happy.

How about now? I ain't mad or nothing, but no, seeing as I'm still at work, I can't say as I'm happy. Ask me again at 6:15 when I pull into my apartment complex.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which was awesome. I don't go to the theater very often anymore because people are just such rude assholes. I mean, seriously, you paid $13 to sit in a dark theater and bother everybody else with the glare from your fucking phone while you're texting? Best come correct and get the fuck out, son. (Sorry, channeling Omar Little.) But there are a ton of "theater movies" (G's term for a movie that you want to see so badly that you can't wait for DVD, or that's so visually stunning it deserves to be seen on a big screen) coming out in 2012, so I might be going to the theater more often than usual: The Hunger Games, The Avengers, The Cabin in the Woods, Brave, Warm Bodies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, World War Z, The Hobbit, Skyfall (the new James Bond movie), and of course, The Dark Knight Rises.

Do you eat candy on a daily basis? Again, I try not to, but sometimes a bitch just needs a Snickers. (New advertising campaign?)

Does it make you happy to get letters? I love it! E-mails are awesome and everything, but nothing beats a real letter to me.

What are you looking forward to this summer? Since I'm an adult and have to work, summers don't have the cachet they used to hold for me. And since I live in Southern California, I don't have to worry about snow and sleet, so the weather isn't a draw. Hmmm. Well, I guess what I'm looking forward to the most are assorted movies (see above) and books. Linda Castillo, Sophie Hannah, and Gillian Flynn (who wrote Sharp Objects, one of my 10 favorite novels of all time) have new books being released in June. Karin Slaughter's got a new one in July, and then Chelsea Cain's got one in August. I don't think any video games of note are coming out this summer, though; they all seem to be either spring (the Silent Hill HD collection, Silent Hill: Downpour, Lollipop Chainsaw) or fall (Resident Evil 6, the mere thought of which makes me want to scream with joy).

Do raisins belong in cookies?





Would you rather have chicken or steak? Steak, but I do love me some chicken picatta.

Do you wish you had smaller feet? No, not really. I don't have trouble finding my size (8), so whatever.

Do you write in cursive or in print? Cursive, but my handwriting is so bad that I try to print if I know I won't be there to "translate".

Are you different now than you were six months ago? Well, at the risk of sounding like a total nerd (too late), our bodies are constantly shedding cells and making new ones, so nobody is the same person they were six months ago, or even six hours ago. So yes.