Wednesday, May 23, 2012

(EDIT) I'll give you fish, I'll give you candy

EDIT: Now with answers!

Also, while I'm at it, I got a few questions about Daddy-O's wedding, so I'll cover those here as well.

  • I bought my dress online at Kohl's. It's no longer available on their site, but if I remember correctly (which is always dicey), it cost about $50, which was a fucking steal. It accentuated the things I wanted to show off (boobs, waist) and hid what I didn't (stomach), AND it's machine washable. I got damn lucky with that dress. Shit, it took me longer to find a bra that wouldn't show underneath! Now THAT was a goddamn ordeal, because all of the "plunge" bras I found were padded, and I don't need any help in that area.
  • Although I can see where you'd think that, based on the way she's dressed, my new stepmother A is not British but Dutch. (I made a joke to my dad about having a Dutch wife and then I had to explain that "Dutch wife" is slang for a sex doll. First he was amused, then he was not, and then he went back to being amused again.)
  • I assume that married life is treating them fine, but I don't actually know for sure because they're currently in Morocco on their honeymoon. Yeah, that's about the face I made when I found out where they were going too. I'm sure it's a beautiful place, but it seems a bit..."adventurous" for my dad. I hope to Christ he remembered to pack Imodium.

Oh, and Jezebel was doing an epic game of FMK with the dudes from Game of Thrones, and somebody posted this picture and I laughed so hard I may have peed a little.

Is anybody in the world cooler than Peter Dinklage? No. No they are not.

Oh, and speaking of Game of Thrones, it's weird because Sean Bean (Ned Stark) and Kit Harington (Jon Snow) are both in the next Silent Hill movie. Which will be a bit of a distraction.

A delicious, delicious distraction.

Okay, now to song identification.

Bored as all heavenly shit, so I done swiped me the following meme.

The rules: Put your iPod on random. Quote lyrics from the songs that come up in the rotation. See who can guess the song and artist (and, as with every quiz, no googling). I'll edit with the answers later on. Bonus credit for guessing the source of the entry title as well.

1. Let's play musical chairs, one of my favorite games/especially now that you and I have traded place

ANSWER: "Sofi Needs A Ladder" by deadmau5

2. So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute/just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute/ladies wouldn't pay you very much for this/looks like you'll never be a concert flautist

ANSWER: "Inner City Pressure" by Flight of the Conchords

3. Wanna be a ghostbuster/first black president, owner of Hustler [Note: this song was obviously written before President Obama was elected.]

ANSWER: "Magna Cum Nada" by The Bloodhound Gang

4. And all the storms you've been chasing/about to rain down tonight/and all the pain you've been facing/about to come into the light

ANSWER: "Deadman's Gun" by Ashtar Command. This song plays over the credits of Red Dead Redemption, and I don't know if it was written specifically for the game, but if it wasn't, major kudos to whoever found it because it's an absolutely perfect choice.

5. I saw her just the other day/jackin' Mike D to my dismay

ANSWER: "Girls" by The Beastie Boys.

Speaking of which, RIP, Adam Yauch. You know, I really appreciated it a couple of years ago when he said (not verbatim; I read this interview a long time ago and don't remember where), "I'm sorry we said such awful things when we first started out [like the charming lyric "Her father had AIDS so I shot him in the head"]. We were young and stupid, which is no excuse, but we regret it now." Gone too soon, that guy.

6. Hordes of zombies on the horizon/who you gonna call when the dead are rising?

ANSWER: "His Name's Frank!" by Lifeseeker, an awesome tribute to total badass Frank West, as featured in the ending credits of Dead Rising 2: Off the Record.

7. Oh I could make a career of being blue/I could dress in black and read Camus/smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth/like I was 17, that would be a scream

ANSWER: "I Don't Want to Get Over You" by Magnetic Fields.

8. Big eyes and a big ass to match/Jean wasn't fast, she was easy to catch

ANSWER: "Jane Fonda" by Mickey Avalon

9. I know just what you mean, my mom been so sad and gray/my dad can't satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away

ANSWER: "Motherlover" by Lonely Island

10. And some pretty titty shaven kitty's gonna charm the world

ANSWER: "Across the Stars in Blue" by The Oohlas

11. Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding/the cretins cloning and feeding/and I don't even own a TV

ANSWER: "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger

12. Happy Thanksgiving! Would you like a little white meat?/I'll stuff my Butterballs and you'll eat

ANSWER: "Coo Coo Ca Choo" by The Bloodhound Gang

13. Well I got dick like Marlon Brando

ANSWER: "Push It" by Jessie and the Toy Boys. This lyric comes from Yellawolf's rap in the middle, and is immediately followed by Jessie singing "Heh! That's good to know". Yes, yes it is.

14. Withered flowers forget/what they wept for day by day

ANSWER: "Your Affection" by Shoji Meguro, the glittering J-pop gem that plays throughout Persona 4. This one was totally unfair because I had to look up the lyrics and then I was like "Holy shit, THAT'S what she's saying?" I love this song but it sure is difficult to understand.

15. If man is five/then the devil is six/and if the devil is six, then God is seven

ANSWER: "This Monkey's Gone to Heaven" by The Pixies

16. You fucking bitch, well I hope your insides rot/liar, liar, liar

ANSWER: "Bruise Violet" by Babes in Toyland. Fun fact: this song is allegedly about Courtney Love, who singer Kat Bjelland accused of biting her style.

17. Well he ain't my boy but the brother is heavy/gave away my possessions and moved into a Chevy

ANSWER: "Gone Guru" by Lifeseeker, another iconic song from the Dead Rising universe.

18. You mentioned Kant and I was shocked, so shocked/you know where I come from none of the girls have such foul tongues

ANSWER: "Hasta Manana Monsieur" by Sparks

19. Don't cry, there's always a way/here in November in this house of leaves we'll pray

ANSWER: "Haunted" by Poe. They played this in Alan Wake, so every time this comes on, I want to play Alan Wake.

20. She colorblind tired eyes, her hallway aching/she'll never move him, likes it that way/he's just a walker and he'll never stop walking away

ANSWER: "Not Too Soon" by Throwing Muses

BONUS CREDIT: The entry title comes from "Give Me Back My Man" by The B-52's. Originally I used a lyric from "Anything Anything" by Dramarama, but then I realized I'd misquoted and the real lyric was too long to use. Oops.

Thanks for playing!