what's on my...

(Stolen from Marie Claire's back page)

WHAT'S ON YOUR...

Must-see-TV list: Right now G and I are really enjoying Attack on Titan, a beautifully animated series about a walled city fighting off (doy) titans. We're also watching season 2 of Legend of Korra and looking forward to the premiere of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the return of Bob's Burgers/The Simpsons/South Park. On my own, I'm watching Dancing with the Stars because I have an inexplicable fondness for Jack Osbourne (and a not-so-inexplicable crush on Tristan MacManus), Orange Is the New Black, and WataMote, which is basically a much funnier anime version of Welcome to the Dollhouse. And of course, I'll be watching Law & Order SVU and MasterChef Junior.

Bucket list: I desperately want to go to Puroland, which is basically Disneyland with Hello Kitty instead of Mickey Mouse. My love for Hello Kitty is well known---I have a tattoo of her, fer chrissakes---but I also have a great fondness for many other Sanrio characters like My Melody and Little Twin Stars. Also on my bucket list: going to Italy, hugging Ron Jeremy, publishing something professionally, and I know there are about a million other things but damned if I can think of any right now.

Nightstand: A lamp, a wooden folk art angel, a vase, an alarm clock, a photo of my mom when she was pregnant with me (she's wearing big sunglasses and an awesome red coat and flashing a peace sign; it's basically my favorite picture of anyone ever), a photo of my parents, a matchbox, a Bath & Body Works candle in the Summer Boardwalk fragrance (incredible; smells like popcorn and candy and salt air and has great throw), the October issue of Marie Claire, and a small plastic container holding my ear plugs. I don't like sleeping with ear plugs in, but they're doing work on the street outside my building, and they start around 7AM. Which is delightful as fuck, as you can imagine.

Fantasy travel itinerary: Italy followed by France. I've been to Paris, but would love to explore more of the country.

Vanity: A glass jar containing Q-tips, a Liberace candle, matches, a "Lookin' Good for Jesus" statue, toothpaste, a cup holding my toothbrush, coconut scented liquid soap from Bath & Body Works, assorted lotions 'n' potions, a metal hand on which I store my rings, a Harajuku Lovers clock, a bottle of Tokyo Milk bubble bath, a box of Kleenex, a bottle of Hello mouthwash in pink grapefruit mint (now discontinued, which is a shame because it's really delicious), and three bottles of perfume: Molinard Tendre Friandises, Alice & Peter Wicked Berry, and Alice & Peter Showy Toffee. Those of you who are well acquainted with my reputation as a "frag hag" may be surprised to see only 3 bottles listed, but that's because I have so many that if I kept them all on my vanity, there wouldn't be room for anything else. (This is not an exaggeration; they take up two full shelves in my linen closet.) So I only display a few at a time.

Last credit card statement: How convenient; I just got it yesterday. The charges include a massage, a haircut, Whole Foods, Firestone, my membership fees from Netflix/Gamefly/Booksfree, the movie theater, $6 for a surprisingly good cheeseburger on Alaska Air, magazines and snacks from the Washington DC airport gift shop, the grocery store, gas, and a Kindle download. Grand total: $692.30.

Coffee table: Magazines, assorted remotes, my Nintendo 3DS, library books, and a huge stack of paperwork that I keep meaning to go through and then, um, don't.

List of charities you support: Nothing on my own, really, because I don't have a ton of disposable income. But Daddy-O always asks for a donation to charity in his name for his birthday/Christmas/Father's Day, because he's awesome. He's really into wildlife conservation, so I usually pick one of those.

Oh, god, this is so funny I have to share. When he and A got married last year, they asked for donations to the Nature Conservancy or the US Holocaust Museum (A's uncle was a Dutch resistance fighter who was captured and killed in one of the camps) instead of gifts. I chose the latter, and they send me solicitations literally every week. They really lay on the guilt, too; you'd think the fate of Judaism was resting squarely on my shiksa shoulders. Once they sent me a calendar of images from the museum, which was super festive. Yes, I want to look at piles of shoes taken from people who were slaughtered in the camps. That'll certainly brighten up my cube.

Anyway, not even a week later, they sent me a letter that said something like "Did you receive the calendar we sent you? Just a reminder, your donation blah blah blah." I showed the letter to G, and he said (remember, although he's an atheist he was raised Jewish and can joke about these kinds of things), "God, typical Jews. You never write, you never call..."

Weekly grocery list: I hate grocery shopping, so I only go once a month. But the four things I always wind up buying are Coke Zero, Uncrustables, yogurt, and toilet paper. Everything else is dependent on my cravings.

Bed: Sheets, a purple comforter, two "regular" pillows, and two large decorative pillows that I lean against while reading in bed.

Feet: Socks and black Nikes.

Netflix queue: I have 308 discs in my queue (and 128 in the saved section), so obviously I'm not going to list all of them. But the five movies at the top are Redemption, The Great Gatsby, V/H/S 2, 13 Going on 30 (shut up I've never seen it and I really like Mark Ruffalo if that's okay with you Jesus Christ) and The Kings of Summer.

Computer screensaver: It's set to scroll through my pictures folder. Enthralling!

Walls of your favorite room in your house: A painting of a pink flower against a black background and a weird photo of a rabbit and a fox wearing Victorian garb. G HAAAAATES that picture because he said it looks like something out of Silent Hill, which of course is precisely the reason I love it.

Go-to takeout menu: Aside from pizza, G and I don't usually order in.

iPhone apps: Pffft, I ain't got no iPhone! I have an old cell phone that's just slightly more advanced than a Jitterbug. As a call center survivor, I hate talking on the phone and avoid it as much as possible, so there's really no need for me to have anything fancy. I'm keeping this one until it falls apart.

Speed dial: G, Daddy-O, my brother.

Mind: Nothing, really, because I have "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse stuck in my head and it's cancelling everything else out.

Ideal dinner party guest list: I'm not going to include my friends/family here because they're obviously a given. As far as celebrities go, I'd love to have Joss Whedon, Nathan Fillion, Caitlin Moran, Morrissey, Matt Bellamy, John Connolly, Joe Hill, Stephen King, Chris Kluwe, Swery65, Louis CK, George Clooney, Amy Schumer, David Lynch, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and Robert Downey Jr. And, for Glenn and Padre, the entire New York Giants team (both players and coaches) so they can yell at them about last week's abysmal game.

Wish list: For Doctor Sleep to come in at the library, a nap, and a cheeseburger.

iTunes playlist: Listing everything would take forever, so I'll just list my 25 most played songs. This is not an entirely accurate list, as I lost a ton of songs when my old laptop died without warning, so this only covers from late December 2012 to the present.

1. "Empire State Human" by Human League (89 plays)

2. "Bad Religion" by Frank Ocean (77)

3. "Heavenly Star" by Genki Rockets (77)

4. "Off to the Races" by Lana Del Rey (72)

5. "Resistance" by Muse (71)

6. "Confusion" by Sparks (70)

7. "Never Surrender" by Combichrist (69 uh huh huh)

8. "Push It" by Jessie & the Toy Boys (69 roflcopter)

9. "Cyclops Rock" by They Might Be Giants (64)

10. "Shadows of the Night" by Pat Benatar (63)

11. "Lilith's Club" by Noisia (62)

12. "Hataraki Otoko" by Puffy (62)

13. "Take a Chance on Me" by ABBA (59)

14. "Ai no Tenshi" by Cham (59)

15. "Shangri-La" by ChatMonchy (59)

16. "Such Great Heights" by Postal Service (59)

17. "Blue Jeans" by Lana Del Rey (56)

18. "Nothing Better" by Postal Service (54)

19. "Marz" by John Grant (52)

20. "Lollipop" by Mika (52)

21. "Uprising" by Muse (51)

22. "Amateur Hour" by Sparks (51)

23. "All You Ever Think About Is Sex" by Sparks (50)

24. "Love Today" by Mika (50)

25. "Fretless" by REM (49)

Bookmarks menu: Please forgive my laziness in not including links, but here's what I have. In alphabetical order: Amazon, the A.V. Club, Blogger, Booksfree, Cake Wrecks, Candy Blog, the CHP Traffic Incident Information page (an absolute must for SoCal residents), Consumerist, the County of Los Angeles library catalog, Cute Overload, Daily Crosswords (from Yahoo), DListed, Engrish, Failblog, Fuck Yeah Tattoos, Gamefly, Gawker, Horoscopes by Holiday Mathis, IMDB, Impulsive Buy, io9, Japanese Snack Reviews, Jezebel, Kotaku, Manga Updates, Maru, Netflix, Now Smell This, Oh No They Didn't, Passive Aggressive Notes, Rookie, Twitter, Ugliest Tattoos, Vigilant Citizen, Video Game Memes, and Weather.

Workout plan: Weather permitting, I walk three miles a day during the week and do Wii Fit at least twice a week. On weekends, though, I am a big pile of lazy ass.

Quotes to live by list: "Be yourself; everyone else is taken" (Oscar Wilde); "Be yourself, because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter" (Dr. Seuss); "Holding a grudge is like letting someone you hate live rent-free inside your head" (Ann Landers); "I'm like Han Solo always playing with my Wookie/I'm the root of all evil babe but you can call me cookie" (The Bloodhound Gang).