potpourri for $200, Alex

Okay, I’m at work and the other peon is here today (unlike the last two days), so I got caught up and am now veryvery bored. Ergo, surveys.


SURVEY STOLEN FROM DEBBIE


Five details about me:

When exaggerating, I tend to use numbers that have eight in them. For example, “I can’t believe that old bitch at Arby’s used like eight hundred pennies to pay for her food!” or “I’m dying, it must be eight million degrees in here.” Like most of my other quirks, I did not notice I do this until someone (in this case, my coworker Scott) pointed it out to me.

I use the word “basically” all the time.

I am on a perpetual quest to find the perfect pair of blue jeans.

I have over 60 bottles of perfume.

Not including the US, I have been to 6 countries (Canada several times, Mexico four times, Japan twice, Bermuda, Norway, and France). This number will change to 7 after Iceland.

Five details about your appearance right now:

I actually wore mascara today because I got around earlier than usual.

I am wearing a long-sleeved black shirt, Old Navy jeans (it’s casual day), black boots,and L’Artisan Tea for Two perfume.

My hair is still doing that annoying feathery thing.

I am wearing Jane Vanilla Bean lipstick.

My skin is freaking out for some reason, so I’m ziterrific today.

Five things you did yesterday:

I went to the library on my lunch break.

I went to the chiropractor after work.

I got takeout from Arby’s for dinner.

I bought the new Shojo Beat at Borders.

I went to bed at 11, which is early for me, but I was tired.

Five memorable things you did in the last year:

I finally got to see the cherry blossoms in Japan.

G and I celebrated our one year anniversary.

I flew home to surprise my brother on his birthday.

I went to Vegas with Kelly and Susan.

Uh…

Five things that impress you:

A sense of humor.

Intelligence.

An exhaustive knowledge of arcane trivia.

People who can draw.

People who can parallel park.

Five things that DON’T impress you:

Money

Fame (and yet I read all the trashy magazines like People and Us and Star and In Style…oh the irony)

L33t speak (unless done for comical effect)

Emo

Motherfucking Coldplay!

Five things you can live without:

Pompous windbags

Hypocrites

Self-righteousness

Traffic

Motherfucking Maroon 5

Name someone with the same birthday as you. Hunter S. Thompson, Vin Diesel, John Glenn, Nelson Mandela, and Buzz Aldrin.

Where was your first kiss? The backyard of the house where I grew up. It was…uh…I remember Blondie playing in the background, and this is before retro was cool, so it must have been about 1981 or 1982. I had a huge crush on the next door neighbor’s son, and in a rare display of boldness, I asked him to give me kissing lessons. It was pretty underwhelming.

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nope.

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? My brother and I had many a dustup in our turbulent teens, but other than him, no. As for other females, I remember getting into it in the sandbox when I was three or so, but nothing as an adult. I hate real-life violence, and unless it was a self-defense/defending someone important to me situation, I would have to be seriously, SERIOUSLY pissed off to hit someone. If I felt I was getting to that point, I would try to remove myself from the vicinity until I calmed down.

Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? No. I did have two solos at a dance recital, though. I wore an aqua blue leotard with matching fringed gloves and danced to “Oh What a Night” by Frankie Valli and “Dancing Queen” by ABBA. Ah, the life of a fruit fly begins early.

What’s the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? I like the politically correct way that’s phrased. Anyway, the first thing I notice is their smile.

What really turns you on? A sense of humor. I know this sounds like a beauty queen answer, but it’s true. As far as I’m concerned, you can get away with anything short of genocide if you’re funny.

What do you order at Starbucks? I’m not a big coffee drinker, but I get a major jones for Starbucks maybe twice a year, and when I do, I get something caramelly. Oddly enough, Arby’s is the other place I get a serious craving for maybe twice a year, and when I get that craving, I must, must, MUST have it…like last night. And yes, there really was an old bitch paying with tons of change, and she was really nasty to the cashier. I wanted to kick her walker away.

And while I’m talking about Arby’s, why does every single Arby’s in the world have a fucked-up parking lot? The one I used to go to in St. Paul has the drive-up window ON THE PASSENGER SIDE. That’s the worst example, but all of them are tiny and/or hard to enter or exit. It’s like they don’t want you to come in or something.

Another Arby’s anecdote and then I’ll stop. Once my dad and I went there and the manager was showing a trainee how to work the meat-slicing machine. The manager said, “And you need to be really careful, because if you hurt yourself, we have to throw away the meat.” Nice priorities there, bub.

What is your biggest mistake? Not being nicer to my mother when she was alive.

Say something totally random about yourself. Be nice to my brother, and you will have an ally for life in me. I’m the first person to admit he’s eccentric, and not always in a charming way, but he’s got the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met and I would literally kill or die for him.

Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? I think we all know the answer to this one.

Did you have braces? Nope…my dentist said he didn’t think I’d need them. Sure, my teeth could be straighter, but when I tell people I didn’t have braces, most of them are surprised.

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has ever done for you? Oh, this is corny, but it’s true: accepting me for who I am.

When do you know it’s love? You just do. It’s like you feel all fizzy inside, and you just can’t keep it to yourself. It's better than an ABBA song...even "Dancing Queen".

Do you speak any other languages? I speak French pretty well, thanks to five years’ worth of classes, but I wouldn’t say I’m fluent, if by fluent you mean you can speak to a native and not have to say “Plus lentement, s’il vous plait”. I speak a smattering of Japanese, which comes in handy living in Southern California.

Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Nope.

What magazines do you read? It would be quicker to ask me what magazines I don’t read.

Have you ever ridden in a limo? Just once, when I took a limo tour of the Twin Cities’ Christmas lights.

Do you watch MTV? Not since they stopped showing “Liquid Television”.

What’s something that really annoys you? Just one? Okay, it drives me absolutely batshit insane when stores that are very obviously closed have their open sign on. I don’t mind it so much when it’s a placard in the window, as that has to be easy to forget to flip over at the end of the day, but big neon open signs make me want to throw a rock through their window.

What’s something you really like? Candy.

Do you like Michael Jackson? Early Michael Jackson---the “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” era---was great. Since he turned into a pasty-faced child molesting freak, no, not at all.

Can you dance? In the most literal sense of the word, yes. Well? No.

What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? When I was working on my thesis, I chased four No-Doz with Jolt and stayed up about 26 hours straight. I’m damned lucky I didn’t have a stroke. I felt like a swarm of hummingbirds had taken up residence in my chest.

Have you ever been rushed by ambulance to the emergency room? No.

Do you actually read this when other people fill them out? But of course.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes, and they are as follows.

*Most recently, Amy Acker from “Angel”. I had to Google her, and I don’t see any resemblance whatsoever, but damn, I sure wish I DID look like her.
*Rose McGowan: Again, I wish, although if I were her, I’d never date Marilyn Manson, wear a see-through chain mail dress to an awards ceremony, or (sniff) do certain things (sniff) in my personal time (sniffff).
*Kellie Martin: She used to be on “Life Goes On” and I heard ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME that I looked like her. I did have the red-framed glasses and similar hair, so yeah, I could see this one. Not so much any more, though.
*M1’s mother thought I looked like Shannen Doherty, at which I took umbrage…not that she’s not pretty in a haughty Boston Brahmin kind of way, but her eyes are totally Picasso.
*Janeane Garofalo: I think this is the celebrity that every sarcastic, dark-haired woman gets compared to.
*Daria: Yep.
*Porn star Stephanie Swift: Uh, no.