Thursday, February 28, 2013

medi(c)a(l) update: February

Operation Brown has gone down.

I repeat, Operation Brown has gone down!

I won't go into the grisly details, but it happened late Monday night.  It was...not pleasant.  At all.  But at least it happened!  And there was a repeat performance on Tuesday morning and a couple of times since, all of which went much smoother.

Another question for those of you who have had gallbladder surgery:  do you find that artificial sweeteners taste gross to you now?  I had a pretty heavy Coke Zero addiction before my surgery, and now it tastes like complete shit to me.  Which isn't an entirely bad thing, of course, because I'll save about $10/week and anything that ants won't even touch is probably not great for the human body, but it's kind of weird.

Anyway, for the most part I'm doing fine.  My incisions still hurt if I forget and stretch too enthusiastically or anything like that, and every now and then I just get absolutely whomped with exhaustion and have to take an epic nap.  And my stomach still looks like Freddy Krueger used it as a sparring dummy.  But overall, I'm not doing too bad, for which I'm immensely grateful.

Enough o' that.

Before I get to the reviews, I just want to say that I have no idea why Dead Space 3 has gotten crap reviews.  G and I aren't done with it yet, but it's plenty tense and atmospheric and scary as fuck.  We're seriously pressed that there's no offline co-op, but other than that, it's really good.  Dead Space 2 is in my top 10 video games of all time, so you can consider my endorsement of DS3 as good as gold.  (Except that you can't sell it to Cash 4 Gold or use it to buy goods or services.  Sorry.  I'm working on it.)

Asterisks denote something I especially enjoyed or found particularly worthy of my time; your mileage may vary.


1. Invisible by Carla Buckley:  Dana left home carrying a secret that kept her away for years, but after a frantic phone call from her niece, she returns just in time for her sister to die.  She notices how many people in the area are seriously ill, and she begins to investigate.  A decent medical mystery; it's not essential reading or anything, but it's aight.

2. Me Before You* by Jojo Moyes:  Desperate for money to help out her family, Louisa Clark takes a job as a companion for Will Traynor, a bitter quadriplegic.  I don't want to say anything else because I would hate to spoil this book for you, but I highly recommend it.  Also highly recommended?  Tissues.  I don't often cry over books (which is weird, since I cry at the drop of a freakin' hat), but this one really got to me.

3. Guilt by Jonathan Kellerman:  In rapid succession, two infant skeletons are discovered, one of which is found near the body of a woman who's been shot in the head.  LAPD detective Milo Sturgis enlists the help of his friend, psychologist Alex Delaware, to solve the case.  I usually enjoy Kellerman's work, but this wasn't one of his better efforts.

4. Every Secret Thing by Laura Lippman:  After being kicked out of a birthday party, 11-year-old Alice and Ronnie are walking home.  They find an unattended stroller with a baby inside, and things take a horrifying turn.  When Alice and Ronnie are released from prison seven  years later, they become the prime suspects when other children start disappearing.  Good premise, but the writing seemed a bit stilted to me.

5. Sever* by Lauren DeStefano:  Because this is the conclusion to the Chemical Garden trilogy, I can't really give it a proper review without spoiling shit from the previous books.  I'll just say that I really enjoyed it and leave it at that.

6. Revenge by Yoko Ogawa:  A creepy collection of eleven connected stories.

7. The Love Song of Jonny Valentine by Teddy Wayne:  At just 11 years old, Jonny Valentine was discovered online and became a pop star beloved by young girls everywhere.  But despite his fame and fortune, all he really wants is to find his long lost father.  Pretty good, but it was hard not to keep mentally inserting Justin Bieber's name throughout the whole book.


1. Rookie Yearbook One* edited by Tavi Gevinson:  The teenage girls of my generation had Sassy, the magazine that assured us we could care about fashion and boys without sacrificing our feminist principles; the teenage girls of today have Rookie.  This collection includes fashion spreads, essays covering everything from street harassment to thrift shopping (including a genius tip for trying on pants in a place without a dressing room), and guest appearances from awesome folks like John Waters, Joss Whedon, and Miranda July.  Even if you don't quite fit into their demographic (which is certainly the case for me), you'll find much to enjoy here.

2. Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless:  A memoir about growing up with a narcissistic, shitty mother.  Not much to add to that description.


1. Caramel by Puku Okuyama  

2. Ninth Life Love by Lalako Kojima  

3. My Bad! by Rize Shinba

4. Nemesis by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven

5. A Bride's Story vol. 4 by Kaoru Mori

6. Stepping on Roses vol. 9 (final volume) by Rinko Ueda

7. Kamisama Kiss vol. 12 by Julietta Suzuki


1. Paranormal Activity 4*:  A suburban family takes in a little boy when his mother is hospitalized; demonic hijinks ensue.  It's the same basic formula as the other three movies, and it's more creepy than scary, but I still liked it quite a bit.  And I also appreciated that... 

VERY MINOR SPOILER:  ...the family's cat lives.  I always cringe when I see a cat in a horror movie because it usually winds up killed in a gruesome way, so I was relieved that the cat survived to the end. 

Side note:  why the hell was this rated R?  I've seen far worse in PG-13 movies.

2. The House at the End of the Street:  Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence, slumming hardcore) and her mom move next door to a house where a teenage girl murdered her parents and then disappeared.  Elissa befriends the only survivor, but things get weird.  It shamelessly steals a major plot point from an infamous 80's horror flick (I can't say what due to colossal spoilers) and it's really stupid, but it's surprisingly enjoyable in a trashy way.  

3. Celeste & Jesse Forever*:  Celeste and Jesse (Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg) have recently separated, but they're still very close, which confounds their friends.  But their unusual arrangement is threatened when Jesse falls in love with someone else.  A bittersweet comedy that I really enjoyed.

4. Flight*:  An airline pilot (Denzel Washington) makes a miraculous crash landing, but he has a little secret he's desperate to protect:  he was drunk and high at the time of the accident.  I thought the last 20 minutes or so got a little schmaltzy, but overall it's excellent.  Word of advice:  do NOT watch this movie if you're planning to fly anywhere in the near future.  The crash sequence is excruciatingly intense.

5. Life of Pi*:  After a shipwreck, Pi is stranded on a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker, and they must struggle to survive against overwhelming odds.  An absolutely gorgeous and heartwrenching movie.  If you haven't seen it yet and want to, I'd highly recommend catching it in the theater if you can because it deserves to be seen on the big screen.  And the 3D is terrific, because it's not all "OMG arrow coming out of the screen at you!"; it's more organic, if that makes any sense.

6. Girl Model:  A documentary about a Russian teenager named Nadya who goes to Japan to model and the scout (a former model herself) who seems a bit conflicted about her job, but continues to look for new girls.  It suffers from occasional slow stretches, but it's pretty interesting.

7. The Perks of Being a Wallflower*:  Charlie is a loner with a dark past who struggles with loneliness when he starts high school.  But he soon befriends a beautiful girl named Sam and her stepbrother Patrick, and things seem to be looking up.  Sweet and touching with some funny moments and a great soundtrack.  (Songs 1-9 on February's iPod list are from this movie.)

8. Seven Psychopaths*:  A screenwriter gets tangled up in his friends' bizarre dognapping scheme, but things turn nasty when they steal a gangster's shih tzu.  A clever and blackly funny script and excellent performances (especially from Sam Rockwell) made this an awesome surprise; I absolutely loved it.  Fair warning, though:  it's REALLY violent.

Side note: be sure to check out the DVD extra "Seven Psychocats", where they remade the trailer with...cats.  The genius who thought to use a Sphynx for Christopher Walken needs to be my bestie.

9. Take This Waltz*:  Margot and Daniel "meet cute":  he heckles her at a historical park, and then they sit next to each other on the plane.  When they share a cab home, they realize that he actually lives across the street from her.  Which would be great since they've got intense chemistry, but there's a catch: she's married.  A thoughtful drama with some wonderful performances by Michelle Williams, Luke Kirby, and Seth Rogen.  And if you've ever wanted to see Michelle Williams or Sarah Silverman (yes, really!) full frontal, pop this on your Netflix queue pronto.

10. Sinister*:  Ethan Hawke plays a true crime writer who moves into a house where a family was killed, hoping to get more insights into the book he's working on.  He finds a box of home movies in the attic that capture several murder sprees, and he begins to fear that his family is the killer's next target.  A really intense and disturbing horror movie that got under my skin something painful.  I think my fellow Silent Hill fans (represent!) would particularly like this because it has a similar feel, especially the soundtrack.

11. The Awakening*:  Shortly after World War I ends, a brilliant young woman named Florence makes her living debunking spiritualists and ghost stories.  She's contacted by a teacher (Dominic West, who will always be Jimmy McNulty to me) at a boys' boarding school who wants her to investigate the ghost of a former student.  I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Florence isn't quite prepared for what she finds.  An old-fashioned thriller with some very spooky moments, including a nail biter of a scene involving a dollhouse.


While browsing on Gamefly, I saw The Testament of Sherlock Holmes (XBOX360; please pardon the lack of an image, but Blogger is being ornery again), thought it looked kind of interesting, and popped it onto my queue.  I wasn't expecting much from it, but it turned out to be a rather enjoyable surprise.

Sherlock Holmes has just solved a case and returned a priceless necklace to its owner.  But it turns out that the necklace he returned was actually a fake, and Holmes is the prime suspect.  Things get even messier when Holmes discovers the mutilated body of a bishop.  Can Holmes find the true culprits and clear his name?


  • An intriguing storyline with some sharp dialogue and genuinely funny moments.  It's not based on an existing Sherlock Holmes story, but it does its inspiration proud.
  • There are some clever puzzles in this game, including a couple of real brainbusters.  If you like Professor Layton, you ought to like this as well, though it lacks the charm of Professor Layton's world.  Speaking of which...
  • ...this is rated M for a reason.  There are some truly grim, nasty moments in this game.
  • They got a really good voice actor for Holmes, and Watson isn't too bad either.  (Everybody else is pretty meh.)
  • The backgrounds are gorgeous.
  • The music is quite nice, if a bit repetitive; one track reminded me of original recipe Resident Evil.
  • The ending credits are awesome, and reminded me so much of a Guy Ritchie movie that I'm pretty sure they were a tip of the hat to Ritchie and his take on the Sherlock Holmes universe.


  • There's a bizarre framing device for the story involving three of the ugliest and most obnoxious kids you've ever seen rendered in a video game.  Their inclusion does eventually make sense, but it could (and should) have been left out.
  • The facial animations aren't the greatest.  They obviously spent more time on Holmes and Watson, but even they suffer from occasional rubberface and creepy eyes.
  • There's an option to skip puzzles if they get too difficult, which is a total cop out; why would you even play a game like this if you don't like puzzles?  Not only that, but you press the right trigger to skip the puzzle, which is way too easy to do by accident, especially if you play a lot of shooters.  I accidentally skipped a particularly good puzzle, which was irritating.  I wish there was an option after finishing the game to replay puzzles so I could go back and do that one.  At the very least, they should ask you if you're sure you want to skip a puzzle before letting you do so.

Don't get me wrong; this is not a "must play" game.  But if you like old school point and click adventure games, puzzle games, or Sherlock Holmes, it's well worth your time.  I thought it would be something I'd play for 30 minutes and then return the next day, but G and I wound up enjoying it quite a bit.


1. "Come on Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners

2. "Temptation" by New Order

3. "Evensong" by The Innocence Mission

4. "Asleep" by The Smiths

5. "Low" by Cracker

6. "Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth

7. "Dear God" by XTC

8. "Pearly Dewdrops' Drops" by Cocteau Twins

9. "Heroes" by David Bowie

10. "Lips Like Sugar" by Echo & the Bunnymen

11. "Only in My Dreams" by Debbie Gibson

12. "Two of Hearts" by Stacy Q

13. "Things Can Only Get Better" by Howard Jones

14. "I Beg Your Pardon" by Kon Kan

15. "Boy" by Book of Love

16. "Send Me An Angel" by Real Life

17. Heartthrob (full album) by Tegan and Sara

Monday, February 25, 2013


When the alarm went off at 5AM last Wednesday, I pulled the covers over my head, hoping that I could stave reality off for just a few more minutes.

But eventually, of course, I had to get up and shower and get dressed.  I wasn't allowed to eat anything, which was fine because I had no appetite anyway, but I was desperately thirsty and couldn't drink either.

G and I arrived at the surgical hospital around 6:15.  I signed in and we sat in the corner, holding hands, until the pre-op nurse came to get me.  After changing into a truly flattering hospital gown, I sat down and the nurse checked my vitals and put in the IV while I scrunched up my eyes and bit my lip.  Then she went and got G for me, and she closed the curtain to give us some privacy.

I won't get specific about what I said to him, because it's private, but I told him the things I would want to be the last words he'd hear from me if things went wrong.  Not that I was anticipating that, of course, but it was important to say them anyway.

Obviously (and thankfully) I remember nothing about the surgery itself.  I just remember being wheeled into the OR and the anethesiologist saying he was going to start and hey presto, the next thing I knew I was in post-op.  The nurse brought me ginger ale and a package of crackers, and steak and Cristal would not have been more welcome to me at that point.  They brought G back and I have never, ever been so happy to see anybody in my entire life.

I found out that the surgeon had been able to do the procedure laparoscopically, which was a colossal relief because there was some concern that he'd have to do the open procedure (read: at least 3 days in the hospital).  And they didn't have to do a post-op endoscopy either, because there were no stones in the...something.  (Give me a break, I was high!)  The icing on the good news cake was that I could go home right away.

The rest of Wednesday and all of Thursday were...not good.  I was completely exhausted, my right shoulder was killing me (displaced pain; very common), and I cried when I saw my stomach for the first time.  I have three incisions:  one in the middle of my abdomen, one off to the side, and a big one under my navel, all ringed by huge bruises.  At least Dr. S didn't punch through my tattoo, which I was worried about.

But throughout all of this, G was the biggest rock star:  helping me in and out of bed, bringing me Gatorade and crackers and pudding, helping me shower, and most of all, keeping my spirits up.  I genuinely don't know what I would have done without him.

Time went by in a languorous crawl.  We watched about eight thousand episodes of Family Feud because I swear that shit is on GSN 24/7.  We watched movies and played Dead Space 3 when I had the energy to hold the controller.  Eventually I was able to eat "real" food, and last night I was even able to nosh on my favorite Oscars snack (cinnamon bears, which G remembered and procured for me) while we watched the telecast.  I became much more independent, although G was always nearby just in case, and today I came home.

My stomach still looks like a crime scene, but at least I can sit up without much pain.  When I laugh, I have to do it with my mouth wide open because otherwise it hurts too much, and it produces a sound eerily like the ape creatures from the first Silent Hill game.  And I haven't pooped since the day before the surgery, so I'm dreading the hell out of THAT eventuality.  (Peeps who have had your gallbladders out:  I will eventually poop normally again, right?  Please say yes.)  But I made it and I feel better every day.

Thanks for your well wishes; they meant so much to me. 

And now to the couch.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I fought the gall and the gall won

Well, folks, tomorrow morning I'll be going under the knife and getting my gallbladder removed.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they can do the laparoscopic surgery as opposed to the more complicated "open" surgery.  That would suck on pretty much every level, especially because it would mean about 3-4 days in the hospital as opposed to one night or maybe even outpatient surgery.  The place where I'm going is rather posh (they even sent me a brochure touting their "spa-like ambience" and "delicious meals prepared by an executive chef and served on fine china") but it's still a fucking hospital and I'd much rather be at home.  Plus:  $$$$$$$$$$$$.  I have health insurance, but my deductible is rather steep, so the sooner I can (safely) get out of there, the better.

G, as you'd imagine, has been an absolute rock star throughout this entire experience.  Although he can ill afford to take any time off work right now because it's their busy season, he's taking the rest of the week off to take care of me.  Hopefully I can be left alone by Monday morning, but if not, I'll have to figure something out.  Fortunately I've got good friends who are willing to pitch in if needed.

So yeah.  I'm kind of freaking out.  I know this is a routine surgery, and everyone I know/"know" who's had it has reported a fairly easy recovery, but it's still surgery.

Please keep a good thought for me, if you would, and I'll update as soon as I can.

Friday, February 01, 2013

hold me so tight they'll think I'm you

Entry title stolen from "I Wanna Be Like Everybody Else" by Sparks; survey stolen from my esteemed colleague Sherry.

What is on your bed right now?

Nothing but a comforter, sheets, and pillows.  I'm not the neatest person in the world, but I always make my bed in the morning, and I try to keep my bedroom clean and organized.  The living room is where I let my messy freak flag fly.

When was the last time you threw up?

I don't remember the exact date (it would be weird if I did), but it was a couple of weeks ago.  I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and I started coughing so hard that I, shall we say, whistled a solid tune.  Unfortunately, it happened so unexpectedly that I didn't have a chance to get to the toilet that was literally two feet away; no, instead I barfed in the sink.  And this happened right as G was walking by the door, so he got to witness this.  He also got to help me unclog the sink.  Boyfriend brownie points:  three dozen.

Name 3 people who made you smile today.

Well, I've been at work all day, so nobody.  Actually, that's not entirely true; G sent me a funny email.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Hitting the snooze button for the third time. 

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Taking my lunchtime walk. 

What is your favorite holiday?

You guys are going to think I am the schmaltziest asshole, but Valentine's Day.  Yes, I used to hate the shit out of it when I was single.  Yes, I used to spend it rolling my eyes at all the pink and red and fluffy shit everywhere and I'd spend the evening watching anime and eating pizza.  (I ALWAYS had Valentine's pizza.)

But goddamn it, when you're in love and you've found the person you know is right for you, it fucking rocks.

Just barely related:  the activities committee at work just sent out a mass email with the subject line "How are you spending Black History Month?"  Um...being white?  

Have you ever been to another country?

I have.  In general chronological order:  Canada (several times), Mexico (three times if you count the college day trip across the border for drinking and dancing; they detained my roommate at the border when we tried to return and we had to pay a $200 bribe to get her out), France, Norway, Bermuda, Japan (once in 2003 and again in 2005), Iceland, Costa Rica, and England.  Spoiler alert:  Japan was by far my favorite one.

What is the last thing you said aloud?

The generic spiel I'm supposed to use when answering the phone here at work.

What is the best ice cream flavor?

Blue moon ice cream, which is borderline impossible to find outside of the Midwest.  Every once in a while, I'll think I see it and get all excited and then, nope, it's bubblegum.  (And why is bubblegum ice cream almost always blue?  I know bubblegum comes in different colors, but if I were to say "Fill in the blank:  I painted my bathroom bubblegum..." you would totally say pink, right?  You wouldn't say blue, right?  You would?  What are you, some kind of contrarian?  Jesus.) 

But if I had to pick something I can find just about anywhere, it's pistachio.  It has to be that unnatural green color, though.  I know it's psychological, but it doesn't taste the same otherwise.  And I love Ben & Jerry's Mission to Marzipan.  Do they even make that anymore?

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water.  Envy my exciting life!

What are you wearing right now?

A striped blue shirt, jeans, sneakers, my vintage brass heart ring, glasses, the usual undergarments, L'Artisan Tea for Two perfume. 

What was the last thing you ate?

A PBJ sandwich.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? 


When was the last time you ran?

I did that annoying walk-jog you do when someone is holding a door open for you and you're several feet away.  Although I appreciate the gesture, I gotta say:  if I'm not RIGHT THERE, please feel free to let the door shut. 

What’s the last sporting event you watched?

If by "watched" you mean the whole thing, basically nothing ever.  G always watches the NY Giants games, of course, as well as those of their division rivals, but I spend that time reading, putzing around online, or falling asleep on the couch and copiously drooling on my arm.  I will be doing the same this Sunday during the Super Bowl, looking up from my book/computer only when commercials are on.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Italy.  I would also like to see much more of France than I did.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on Facebook?

Nobody ever.  I hate Facebook and I don't have one.  I started one a few years back and was like "fuck this shit".

Ever go camping?

No.  I'm kind of a diva in that I require indoor plumbing and a bed.  Also, me + insects = infinite sum of nope.

Do you have a tan?

No.  I do pick up a bit of a tan during the summer, because I walk 3 miles a day and even though I use sunscreen, I still get some color.  It's starting to fade, though. 

But when I was a teenager, I used to lie out in the back yard with my friend R and we'd slather baby oil all over ourselves and use reflectors we'd created out of tin foil and an album cover.  This memory makes me cringe. 

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?

Some change fell out of my pocket into a squat toilet when I was in Japan.  Needless to say, it stayed in the squat toilet.  I also dropped my cell phone in the toilet at work once, but I retrieved it (the water was clean!) and did the rice trick, and it worked!  I only had rice pilaf at home, so my phone smelled delightfully spicy for a couple of weeks.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Trashy magazines and gossip sites.  DListed is my absolute favorite, but I also like Oh No They Didn't.  And I don't check Crazy Days and Nights very often, but there was a rumor going around that Robert Downey Jr. was an especially prolific commenter on the site.  This rumor was repeated on Gawker and Jezebel, and RDJ's representative had to release a statement debunking it.  Too bad; I kind of like the idea of RDJ sitting there at home gleefully spilling all sorts of juicy insider dirt.

I also like Vigilant Citizen, which is all about the conspiracy theories.  I don't believe about 95% of the stuff on that site, but it's still fascinating to read, and it's amazing what you'll start noticing in the media after poking around there for a few hours.  Be sure to check out the pages on the IRS building and the Denver airport. 

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?

Only to be funny or as a shorthand way of saying "That previous comment wasn't supposed to be as serious/bitchy as it sounded."

Do you drink your soda from a straw?

I have been for the last couple of days because one of my teeth has become supersensitive to cold.  I have a dentist appointment next week so he can take a gander and find out what's going on.  A tooth abcess killed Hugo Boss, you know, so I'm not taking chances.  Even if it's nothing major, it still fucking hurts, and it's almost time for my cleaning anyway.

Unpaid product endorsement:  I bought one of these at Target and it is awesome.  For added fun at night, I like to brush my teeth with the lights on while listening to "Trouble in Brazil" from the Max Payne 3 soundtrack and pretending I'm at a rave.  Plus my teeth look about 3 shades lighter since I started using it.

What are you doing tomorrow?

G, C, and I are going to Little Tokyo for a delicious curry lunch and shopping.  I'm hoping to find some RE6 action figures.  I want to find Chris and Piers and make them do things to each other.  And then I will photograph the sexy, sexy results.


Look to your left, what do you see?

Two framed pictures of G and me, a bottle of water, my cell phone, my current book, a box of Kleenex, and assorted work files.

What color is your watch?

I don't wear one because it gets in the way when I type/game/live my goddamn life.  I just use my phone.

What do you think of when you think of Australia?

Utterly terrifying creatures that will kill me.  Don't click on this link if you're an arachnophobe, because you will never, ever stop screaming:  seriously, don't.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?

But of course.  In my old age, however, they have a much stronger effect on me than they used to, so I think my roller coaster days are over.

What is your birthstone?


Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Drive through.  Fat (typo and it stays) food places don't exactly have the most welcoming ambience.

Do you have a dog?

No, and I doubt I ever will.  I don't dislike dogs, but I'm far more of a cat person, and to be honest, dogs scare me, especially German shepherds because I got bitten by one as a kid.  I shouldn't blame all of them, especially because my grandparents had one named Suki that patiently withstood all sorts of torment at my hands, ranging from me trying to ride her to yanking on her ears.  I should note here that an adult always intervened when they noticed me doing this, but Suki still had plenty of opportunity to bite me, but she never even growled.  I was very young and didn't really think of her as a living creature, so that's my excuse. 

Anyway, I do like some dogs.  I fell in love with Spock's dog Dory when I met her last year, and I have a serious thing for French and English bulldogs.

Last person you talked to on the phone?

Some dick at work.  Pro tip:  if you're calling a business about a claim or account you have with them, please have your claim or account number handy.  If we can't find your information without it, it's not because we're stupid; IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT FUCKING PSYCHIC.

Any plans today?

I'm at work until 6, but tonight G and I are going to eat some BBQ and watch Paranormal Activity 4.

Are you happy?

Overall, yeah, I am.

Where are you right now?

My cube.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?

This goddamn tooth!

Last song listened to?

"Heroes" by David Bowie.

Last movie you saw?

Whores' Glory, which I reviewed in my last entry.  But this is a good opportunity to tell you about a serious WTF moment.  I started watching Hotel Transylvania last night, and although it didn't pass the 15-minute test, I did get to witness something of breathtaking weirdness.  There was a scene where a wolfman's cub takes a leak on the floor, and a sentient sponge---with a face, mind you---started cleaning it up. 

And making strange little moans that sounded for all the world like it was having an orgasm.

I mean, maybe it was making little moans because it was expanding with the pee and it hurt (what a strange sentence), but I swear to Christ it sounded sexual.  Who greenlit that scene?  WHY IS THERE A SENTIENT PEE LOVING SPONGE IN A KID'S MOVIE?  WHY DID I WATCH IT?

I must examine my life choices.

Are you allergic to anything?

I am, but I have no idea what it is.  Every once in a while, I'll have a horrible allergy attack and no clue what set it off.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

I have a cheap pair of mary janes with skull buckles that I like quite a bit.  My standard footwear is a pair of Nike sneakers, though.

Are you jealous of anyone?

Sherry's answer is so perfect that I'm leaving it here:  "I recently learned the difference between jealousy and envy is that jealousy means you want to replace someone, envy means you want to be included. So I'm really not jealous of anyone, but I do get envious."

Okay, I'm finishing this up because I have to take a whiz and there's no sentient sponge around.