Stan Lee can eat my juicy butt

I’m not usually the type to get all worked up about reality shows; for the most part, it’s a genre that just doesn’t interest me. However, I made an exception for Who Wants to Be a Superhero? because, from my innocent childhood crush on Christopher Reeve as Superman to the Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld comics I greedily devoured as a preteen, I’ve always loved superheroes. I even bought three sheets of the new superhero stamps at the post office, because slapping Batman on my bills is just too freakin' cool for words.

Anyway, from the very first episode, Major Victory was my pick. A former male stripper who filled out his costume quite nicely, he instantly won my heart with his quick quips and hysterical antics. He completed every single challenge, from stopping for the crying child to surviving the attack dogs…

…and he FRICKIN’ GOT KICKED OFF LAST WEEK. Why? Because Stan Lee didn’t think he took it seriously enough. Okay, Mr. Lee, creator of Stripperella! What the fuck ever.

Ah, Major Victory, I still proudly salute you. You will always be the shiny pantsed superhero of my heart.